I'm not looking for perfection...

Ok,this will be a totally random post.

I've lost my passion, my joy, my will to continue fighting the long-hard and winding road.

"Nobody Knows" by Pink

Nobody knows
Nobody knows but me
That I sometimes cry
If I could pretend that I'm asleep
When my tears start to fall
I peek out from behind these walls
I think nobody knows
Nobody knows no

Nobody likes
Nobody likes to lose their inner voice
The one I used to hear before my life
Made a choice
But I think nobody knows
No no
Nobody knows
No

Baby
Oh the secret's safe with me
There's nowhere else in the world that I could ever be
And baby don't it feel like I'm all alone
Who's gonna be there after the last angel has flown
And I've lost my way back home
I think nobody knows no
I said nobody knows
Nobody cares

It's win or lose not how you play the game
And the road to darkness has a way
Of always knowing my name
But I think nobody knows
No no
Nobody knows no no no no

Tomorrow I'll be there my friend
I'll wake up and start all over again
When everybody else is gone
No no no

Nobody knows
Nobody knows the rhythm of my heart
The way I do when I'm lying in the dark
And the world is asleep
I think nobody knows
Nobody knows
Nobody knows but me
Me

Hyperventilates!

I. WANT. THIS!

Pink Pink Pink!

OK,so now my favorite artist is... jeng jeng jeng... Pink!

I used to like her and some of her songs but wasn't that into music at that age.After some digging and watching her music videos, I can now PROUDLY say,I'm in love with her(in a non-sexual way please.) Kinda admire her for her rocker chic look and all those daring hair cuts.WOW...Am loving her style! Like I've always said, I used to be really tomboy and her style is rock/elegant/funky with edge and the i-don't-give-an-eff-what-you-think-about-me! *drools*

Some of the music of hers that I'm in love are
1.You and Your hand
2.So what
3.Who knew
4.Please Don't leave me

and many more...You guys should really check out the music video for You and Your Hand! Awesome possum!

Been feeling,happier at the moment. Thanks to the people around me.=)

And,a lot of people say that I sound like Jasmine Joseph.I DON'T! If I have her voice,I would be singing everywhere I go,with a voice like hers, wow,which I can only admire.

Ok,that's all...

Pictures of me...

Just Plain Old Tired...

Either age is catching up on me or I'm just getting really tired these few days. Yesterday night I slept at 12am and I couldn't wake up for my class today which was at 8am. I literally just woke up when my alarm rang and stared at the ceiling for next 10 seconds before falling back to sleep.

Today went pass like a blur. Seem to be happening a lot to me. Ju Ann brought us to the Subang pasar malam at around 5pm-ish. A bit too early for a pasar malam right? =P Well, we are weird like that!

Well,in short,I love pasar malams. This is one of the reasons I love my country.Walking though the crowds(even though there wasn't much of a crowd just now as we were super early there and the crowd haven't arrive) seeing the different races where people,for once do not judge and are so welcoming. Not to mention the array and lots of food available there.

Let me talk more about the pasar malam in general. I've been to the Cheras's pasar which is also known as Taman Connought, which is the longest pasar malam in Malaysia if I'm not mistaken. It was so much fun! They even sold stinky tau fu there! Just by going to a pasar malam is enough to make my day.

After half and hour of walking,we got back into the car,and we all went home. I was tired. Reached home,took a look at my super-duper messy room,I just sat on the floor for 10 mins,just staring at the walls and ceiling before switching on my laptop for some happy music. I decided to rest my stomach from the food i bought from the pasar malam which was spicy chicken and fried carrot cake. I was so full. So as I sat there for my stomach to cool, I was thinking of cleaning up room,like the OCD kind of behavior.When I clean my room,I literally clean,as in, I throw everything out of my room,sweep,and hand-mop.I even carry,single handedly the heavier than me single mattress which is outrageously heavy out of the room. Well,OCD much? And there seem to be ants around my room now.Don't know why..hmmmm...

To cut the long story SHORT,I fell asleep.I was just so tired,I knew I had to clean my room but My body,like this morning refused to listen to me and so I just threw myself on the bed and slept for almost an hour,believe me,I could have continued sleeping until the next morning but I have to get up! I mean I haven't bath and clean my room yet! Procrastinate much???

Been procrastinating on assignments too.Sem 2 is hell.And I mean it.

Been spending my nights,alone,feeling lonely... Well,time for some adaption of new life.

Need to buck up on assignment!

Ok,that's all for now...

Hmmm,and was wondering if people do read my blog or am just blogging for myself to reflect and look back at the things I've done in the past?

Something meaningful..

I found this online which is so meaningful to me...Enjoy! MAY BE… Maybe. . we were supposed to meet the wrong people before meeting the right one so that, when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift. Maybe . . . it is true that we don't know what we have until we lose it, but it is also true that we don't know what we have been missing until it arrives. Maybe . . . the brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; after all, you can't go on successfully in life until you let go of your past mistakes, failures and heartaches. Maybe . . you should hope for enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, and enough hope to make you happy. Maybe . . . the happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. Maybe .. . . the best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had. Maybe . . . happiness waits for all those who cry, all those who hurt, all those who have searched, and all those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of all the people who have touched their lives. May be . . you should do something nice for someone every single day, even if it is simply to leave them alone. Maybe . . . there are moments in life when you miss someone -- a parent, a spouse, a friend, a child -- so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real, so that once they are around you appreciate them more. Maybe … giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love you back. Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart; but, if it doesn't, be content that it grew in yours. Maybe .. . . you should dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go, be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you dream of, and want to do. "Life is only traveled ONCE; Today’s MOMENT becomes Tomorrow’s MEMORY. Enjoy every moment, good or bad, because the GIFT of LIFE is LIFE itself…."

Everything to me...

We're living in uncertain times And more and more I find that I'm aware of just how fragile life can be.
But ask me why He loves me, and I don't know what to say.

God,will you take me back?

Will you ever forgive me?
Please hear my plea,
Open my eyes,so that I can see,
How fragile we can be,
Your love,as deep as the sea,
From this pain,I want to be free.

You are everything to me...

Echo...

Forgive me my weakness...

Pictures must be credited...

The pictures from my post, the Habenero Challenge were all taken by the very talented SOO WEI WEN! *a round of applause here please*

Even my new blog header is one of the pictures taken by Wei Wen. If his skills continue to grow,you may never know,I might hire him as my future wedding photographer... Free of charge of course! =)

Yup,if you are wondering what this post is about,it's about Soo Wei Wen!

THE END...

Envy.

Sometimes,I envy those who have all that they could wish for and more...

Disappointment+anger+sadness=disangerness

Grow a spine and backbone will ya...

Habenero nightmare...

This post consists of two parts only:

Before and after the Habenero Chilli...

This is before...

This is after the Habenero...

Even as an experienced chili eater,I find this chili extremely painful and spicy. The heat and spiciness of the Habenero is almost unbearable. Just by touching a freshly cut habenero with your finger and putting that very same finger into your mouth,is actually equivalent to a tiny green chili padi. And it is just by touching the chili so try imagining eating a whole slice of it.

My experience when I ate it was the spiciness did not hit me at first as I was chewing it slowly and after properly chewing it,I got hit by a wave of spiciness that I cannot explain but only you could experience by eating it. I downed cups and cups of water(maybe not as much as Wei Wen did) until it came to the point that I almost felt like throwing up as I was literally pumping myself with fluids. And believe it or not,even after the spiciness went from the mouth,my whole body felt like it was radiating heat like an overused engine. =)

Well,it was another crazy experience that would haunt me for the rest of my days...

It felt like old times...

Gah...

Manage to upload one picture only using my broadband. Will update more when I get home. So,wait up for me peeps!

Major Makeover...

Give me a break...Everyone deserves it,yeah,I might not have been what I would call "good" but hey at least I'm trying.

As I grow older(though I don't feel it at all) I've come to the realization that there are responsibilities that I have to carry. Yes,I do envy those who still depend on their parents and their parents don't mind it at all.

Every decision made has its consequences. I ain't a little girl anymore and yet there are times when I just feel like leaving things as it is,without worrying about the costs.

Being an adult is so different from a teenager or a kid.

It is a phase everyone has to go through and yet I am afraid to take the step there.

I've been hiding behind a mask. I am afraid of rejection,I am afraid of being lost,I am afraid of being nothing.

Time has come for me to face my demons,my fears,my faults...

Hopefully,there will be a change in me,because I can't fight it anymore.