Short hair?
Long hair?
Short hair?
Long hair?Whatever,I've already made up my mind to keep my hair long so no matter what your opinion is, you can keep it to yourself thank you...
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Saturday, May 29, 2010
I lead a very demanding life...
AM currently addicted to the song "Billionaire" feat. Bruno Mars..
First of all, I sorry for not updating my blog. This is one of the common problem among bloggers. The inability to keep track and continue faithfully to update on one's own blog. I am in that category, but as we all know very well, we are not perfect...Therefore, as an apology,I will write a long post while trying to compress the happenings in my life into one post. Happy reading!
A lot of things have been going on in my life. And I find it very hard,excruciatingly painful and tough to juggle my life at the moment. I am currently trying to balance and sort out my life. It is difficult trying to cope with all the things right now. I have to worry about:
1. my family, my duty as a daughter(which I am seriously doing a terrible job)
2. my role as a sister(even worse),
3.my responsibility as a student(pretty much the same as the above),
4.the role of a girlfriend (hey,who ever said relationships were easy and smooth-sailing should go throw themselves against the wall, liars),
5. my commitment towards my ministries in church which is dance and the worship team,ARGH!!! WHICH REMINDS ME,I HAVE TO PREPARE THE REGISTRATION FORM FOR DANCE!!!!(i need a break from dance ministry but can't find the guts to ask for a time off and am more afraid that there are not enough leaders to lead dance. Worship ministry,I found out that I am doing an awful job as a keyboardist as I lack the practice and determination to improve my skills.)
6.my job as a baker(the 1.5kg of cream cheese is going to expire soon and therefore needs my skills to produce cakes,biscuits and other what-nots using that pitiful cream cheese.)
7.my responsibility as an owner(I have 3 pups and 3 grown dogs which I need to groom and bath them weekly. By the way,did I mention that my puppies are super CUTE AND ADORABLE and they are for sale.If given the chance I would love to keep them all but as I now have 3 dogs, it is kinda hard to handle another 3 more bouncy,lively and active puppies.)
8.my duty as the grass cutter(yeah,you read that right,I have a pretty big garden and I am in charge of cutting the grass using the super-shaky-vibrating-and-throbbing grass cutting machine every time the grass grows to be too long which takes only 2 weeks to grow back. Why can't hair grow as fast grass grows? And every time I cut the grass, my hands always ends up being very red,a little swollen,numb and it throbs.)
9.my duty to myself( Wah,I've put on weight! Well, I seem to have put on some unwanted pack of meat around my tummy area after 2 weeks of not doing my regular sit-ups and exercise.Hrmph... I have been putting pressure on my body by sleeping late,well,it's not really my fault as I have to rush to finish my assignments,I stayed up till 5am in the morning and woke up at 8.30am the other day.Not good for body and I just recovered from dengue!)
10.my duty to my relationship with God...(need I explain more.I am in deep s***t,God can just smite me now and I am,remorsefully, still in the wrong.)
The list can go on but as far as I can recall, these are the things I can only remember at the moment.So,let me continue with my long winded story.
Well,I had dengue. Had a bad case of fever for more than a week, with doctors telling me that it was jut viral fever without even taking a blood test. Finally when the red spots appeared only was I admitted to the hospital.Having dengue is not fun let me tell you.Your hands and feet will ITCH like crazy! Due to the itch,I could not sleep for 2 days and when I was admitted to the hospital, the doctors prescribed sleeping pills so that my body will be able to rest and recover.My experience in the hospital wasn't very fun.I had to have my blood drawn every day with an IV drip attached to me on my hand like an annoying growth. Oh yeah, and the boredom is enough to kill!Well, I soon recovered after having gallons of watermelon juice force down my throat,well figuratively speaking.Now the thought of watermelon juice is enough to make me turn green on the face.
With the great dilemma of having dengue comes the great responsibility in having to rush to finish and submit your assignments.I was literally rushing and without sleep for almost a week due to the effort in trying to finish and submit my old assignments with new ones piling up even though I had asked for extensions. It wasn't enough... But I really thank God that I was able to finish my assignments without much trouble,and I want to thank all those who had helped me by answering my annoying questions about assignments and providing the notes and information.(Sheena Liam,Amber Khoo,MichelleLICIOUS, Wei wen and Jasmine from the Joseph clan.) =)
Went for the Bible College Food fair/carnival thingy yesterday which was Friday. It was to support some charity thing,not to sure though... The effort the people and organizers put in was really good. Wished my sisters and family were there too.Would have enjoyed it much more. Encountered some disappointment that day... Went home and it was really good,I've missed my family.As I've mentioned above,I was being a very lousy daughter and sister therefore I tried to make it up to them while making the decision to be a better person for my family.When I came home I just felt like baking so I made vanilla cupcakes from a recipe which I got from the newspaper. As usual, baking helped me to take some things off my mind and it did lessen the disappointment that I felt that day.My eldest sis is now down with dengue. Let me reaffirm my statement,DENGUE IS NO FUN!
The skin on my hands are peeling really badly as I have been doing my own cooking and washing in college.My fingers kinda look like wrinkled prunes with its' skin peeling. Yuck...
Well,that is all for now,I hoped that you would be at peace and forgive me for not updating with this long post this time. Hopefully I will have the time and try to update more frequently.
I really want to have a child of my own.I want to be a mother.I want a little boy or girl of my own to cuddle and love. The tiny life that I want to protect and keep safe from any harm. I want to be a mother...
First of all, I sorry for not updating my blog. This is one of the common problem among bloggers. The inability to keep track and continue faithfully to update on one's own blog. I am in that category, but as we all know very well, we are not perfect...Therefore, as an apology,I will write a long post while trying to compress the happenings in my life into one post. Happy reading!
A lot of things have been going on in my life. And I find it very hard,excruciatingly painful and tough to juggle my life at the moment. I am currently trying to balance and sort out my life. It is difficult trying to cope with all the things right now. I have to worry about:
1. my family, my duty as a daughter(which I am seriously doing a terrible job)
2. my role as a sister(even worse),
3.my responsibility as a student(pretty much the same as the above),
4.the role of a girlfriend (hey,who ever said relationships were easy and smooth-sailing should go throw themselves against the wall, liars),
5. my commitment towards my ministries in church which is dance and the worship team,ARGH!!! WHICH REMINDS ME,I HAVE TO PREPARE THE REGISTRATION FORM FOR DANCE!!!!(i need a break from dance ministry but can't find the guts to ask for a time off and am more afraid that there are not enough leaders to lead dance. Worship ministry,I found out that I am doing an awful job as a keyboardist as I lack the practice and determination to improve my skills.)
6.my job as a baker(the 1.5kg of cream cheese is going to expire soon and therefore needs my skills to produce cakes,biscuits and other what-nots using that pitiful cream cheese.)
7.my responsibility as an owner(I have 3 pups and 3 grown dogs which I need to groom and bath them weekly. By the way,did I mention that my puppies are super CUTE AND ADORABLE and they are for sale.If given the chance I would love to keep them all but as I now have 3 dogs, it is kinda hard to handle another 3 more bouncy,lively and active puppies.)
8.my duty as the grass cutter(yeah,you read that right,I have a pretty big garden and I am in charge of cutting the grass using the super-shaky-vibrating-and-throbbing grass cutting machine every time the grass grows to be too long which takes only 2 weeks to grow back. Why can't hair grow as fast grass grows? And every time I cut the grass, my hands always ends up being very red,a little swollen,numb and it throbs.)
9.my duty to myself( Wah,I've put on weight! Well, I seem to have put on some unwanted pack of meat around my tummy area after 2 weeks of not doing my regular sit-ups and exercise.Hrmph... I have been putting pressure on my body by sleeping late,well,it's not really my fault as I have to rush to finish my assignments,I stayed up till 5am in the morning and woke up at 8.30am the other day.Not good for body and I just recovered from dengue!)
10.my duty to my relationship with God...(need I explain more.I am in deep s***t,God can just smite me now and I am,remorsefully, still in the wrong.)
The list can go on but as far as I can recall, these are the things I can only remember at the moment.So,let me continue with my long winded story.
Well,I had dengue. Had a bad case of fever for more than a week, with doctors telling me that it was jut viral fever without even taking a blood test. Finally when the red spots appeared only was I admitted to the hospital.Having dengue is not fun let me tell you.Your hands and feet will ITCH like crazy! Due to the itch,I could not sleep for 2 days and when I was admitted to the hospital, the doctors prescribed sleeping pills so that my body will be able to rest and recover.My experience in the hospital wasn't very fun.I had to have my blood drawn every day with an IV drip attached to me on my hand like an annoying growth. Oh yeah, and the boredom is enough to kill!Well, I soon recovered after having gallons of watermelon juice force down my throat,well figuratively speaking.Now the thought of watermelon juice is enough to make me turn green on the face.
With the great dilemma of having dengue comes the great responsibility in having to rush to finish and submit your assignments.I was literally rushing and without sleep for almost a week due to the effort in trying to finish and submit my old assignments with new ones piling up even though I had asked for extensions. It wasn't enough... But I really thank God that I was able to finish my assignments without much trouble,and I want to thank all those who had helped me by answering my annoying questions about assignments and providing the notes and information.(Sheena Liam,Amber Khoo,MichelleLICIOUS, Wei wen and Jasmine from the Joseph clan.) =)
Went for the Bible College Food fair/carnival thingy yesterday which was Friday. It was to support some charity thing,not to sure though... The effort the people and organizers put in was really good. Wished my sisters and family were there too.Would have enjoyed it much more. Encountered some disappointment that day... Went home and it was really good,I've missed my family.As I've mentioned above,I was being a very lousy daughter and sister therefore I tried to make it up to them while making the decision to be a better person for my family.When I came home I just felt like baking so I made vanilla cupcakes from a recipe which I got from the newspaper. As usual, baking helped me to take some things off my mind and it did lessen the disappointment that I felt that day.My eldest sis is now down with dengue. Let me reaffirm my statement,DENGUE IS NO FUN!
The skin on my hands are peeling really badly as I have been doing my own cooking and washing in college.My fingers kinda look like wrinkled prunes with its' skin peeling. Yuck...
Well,that is all for now,I hoped that you would be at peace and forgive me for not updating with this long post this time. Hopefully I will have the time and try to update more frequently.
I really want to have a child of my own.I want to be a mother.I want a little boy or girl of my own to cuddle and love. The tiny life that I want to protect and keep safe from any harm. I want to be a mother...Monday, May 3, 2010
Cheezie World....
Cream cheese Cookies!
Chocolate cream cheese swirl brownie!
My dad bought a 2kg slab of cream cheese and it is my responsibility to make something out of that cream cheese.He bought it in January if I'm not mistaken.Therefore I have to use up the cheese quite soon now.The cute designs were done by my super duper artistic mum.
I wouldn't be able to handle both cookie and brownie if it weren't for mum helping me!
And it turned out REALLY GOOD! My dad who is not a cake/sweet tooth lover,really liked the brownie!
Yummy!
Bruises and the satisfaction...
I know I should be finishing my assignments but please bear with me and let me ramble on my day.
I was kinda passing through the whole day in a blurry mood. I was contemplating this morning whether to bring a change of clothes for futsal later but as my bag was already heavy with my laptop and an enormous stack of papers,I decided not to.My class ended at 3,so I decided to go home and change and then take the shuttle bus back to Taylors. I reached home around 4.30 and I decided to do my laundry and by the time I finished,it was already 5.45pm.I checked the schedule and there were no shuttle buses back to Taylors...T.T
Therefore,I ended up taking the taxi which costs me RM10!!!!My heart was aching when I handed him the note...My MONEH!!!Therefore,I've decided to stay in college with my change of clothes and then go for futsal.Or I can go home but I'll leave early and take the shuttle bus.Coz the place is not safe.Sim,who was kind enough to send me back to Mentari,lost her phone.
Well,hopefully whoever stole her phone will get their deserving punishment!
Futsal gave me the exercise I needed.The training was strenuous. I loved every moment of it! Wah,the exercise!!!
That's all for now.Will try to finish my CCS today!!!
I was kinda passing through the whole day in a blurry mood. I was contemplating this morning whether to bring a change of clothes for futsal later but as my bag was already heavy with my laptop and an enormous stack of papers,I decided not to.My class ended at 3,so I decided to go home and change and then take the shuttle bus back to Taylors. I reached home around 4.30 and I decided to do my laundry and by the time I finished,it was already 5.45pm.I checked the schedule and there were no shuttle buses back to Taylors...T.T
Therefore,I ended up taking the taxi which costs me RM10!!!!My heart was aching when I handed him the note...My MONEH!!!Therefore,I've decided to stay in college with my change of clothes and then go for futsal.Or I can go home but I'll leave early and take the shuttle bus.Coz the place is not safe.Sim,who was kind enough to send me back to Mentari,lost her phone.
Well,hopefully whoever stole her phone will get their deserving punishment!
Futsal gave me the exercise I needed.The training was strenuous. I loved every moment of it! Wah,the exercise!!!
That's all for now.Will try to finish my CCS today!!!
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Tear me limb for limb and it won't hurt as much as this...
Damn,this is harder than I thought. Living and being with each other for so long has left me helpless and uselessly incapable. You literally have become a part of my life,incorporated,fused together.
Every minute I'll go running to my mobile,searching for a trace of you,whether or not you would give in first. It is so much harder than I thought it would be. The more I try to forget,the harder it becomes and the more it appears...
I'm like a caged bird,shackled...(well,maybe in this picture of a caged dog?)
I'm a mess.
My life is unacceptable,out of order...IT HURTS...
Reflections of the Past...
There are two songs which I can use to describe my feelings and emotions right now...
LIFE AFTER YOU-Chris Daughtry
Ten miles from town and I just broke down
Spittin' out smoke on the side of the road
I'm out here alone just tryin' to get home
To tell you I was wrong but you already know
Believe me I won't stop at nothin'
To see you so I've started runnin'
All that I'm after is a life full of laughter
As long as I'm laughin' with you
I'm thinkin' that all that still matters is love ever after
After the life we've been through
'Cause I know there's no life after you
Last time we talked, the night that I walked
Burns like an iron in the back of my mind
I must've been high to say you and I
Weren't meant to be and just wastin' my time
Oh, why did I ever doubt you?
You know I would die here without you
You and I, right or wrong, there's no other one
After this time I spent alone
It's hard to believe that a man with sight could be so blind
Thinkin' 'bout the better times, must've been outta my mind
So I'm runnin' back to tell you
All that I'm after is a life full of laughter
Without you God knows what I'd do, yeah
All that I'm after is a life full of laughter
As long as I'm laughin' with you
I'm thinkin' 'bout all that still matters is love ever after
After the life we've been through, yeah
Know there's no life after you
All I Ever Wanted-Kelly Clarkson
Tear up the photographs, but yesterday won't let go
Every day, every day, every minute
Here comes the emptiness, just can't be lonely you know
Every day, every day, hey, hey
This second chancin's really getting me down
You give and takin' everything I dreamed about
It's time you let me know, let me know, just let go
All I ever wanted, all I ever wanted
Was a simple way to get over you
All I ever wanted, all I ever wanted
Was an in between to escape this desperate scene
Where every law reveals the truth
Baby 'cause I all ever wanted, all I ever wanted was you
I'd rather walk alone, don't wanna chase you around
Every day, every day, every minute
I fall a thousand times for I let you drag me down
Every day, every day, hey, hey
Your new beginning was a perfect ending
But I keep feeling we've already been here before
It's time you let me know, let me know, just let go
All I ever wanted, all I ever wanted
Was a simple way to get over you
All I ever wanted, all I ever wanted
Was an in between to escape this desperate scene
Where every law reveals the truth
Baby 'cause I all ever wanted, all I ever wanted was
Tell me with so many out there why I always turn to you?
Your goodbyes tear me down every time
And it's so easy to see that the blame is on me
All I ever wanted, all I ever wanted
Was a simple way to get over you
All I ever wanted, all I ever wanted
Was an in between to escape this desperate scene
Where every law reveals the truth
Baby 'cause I all ever wanted, all I ever wanted was you
Yup,these 2 songs are exactly what I'm feeling right now.
Making this decision is as hard for me as it is to you.
Those times I've been hurting you,acting so immaturely, so selfish, so indecisive...
Hopefully with this one month of self reflection will help me to appreciate you more and the things you have done for me. It is also the time for me to realize,my own self worth and what I want in life.
It aches me to see that the amount of hurt and pain I've caused and inflicted on you,and yet you remained as stubborn as I am. Which is a trait I find amusing and irritating at times.
Drowning my own thoughts with the blasting music and yet the very image and the very words you left me is as clear as the chime of a bell in the middle of a quiet scene. Life is never as easy as people claim it to be but you always insist that it is and argue me with it.
I can't say these things to you but as you read this,I really hope that you do know that I love you...
Because I love you so much,there are times I have to admit that it has dragged me down.Tearing me away from myself.The knowledge of knowing that you would catch me when I fall,protecting me... You can say that I've lost,somewhat my self confidence,my own little spark of cheekiness and risky behaviour.
Saying these words now would be meaningless...But nevertheless,I just want to say that...
LIFE AFTER YOU-Chris Daughtry
Ten miles from town and I just broke down
Spittin' out smoke on the side of the road
I'm out here alone just tryin' to get home
To tell you I was wrong but you already know
Believe me I won't stop at nothin'
To see you so I've started runnin'
All that I'm after is a life full of laughter
As long as I'm laughin' with you
I'm thinkin' that all that still matters is love ever after
After the life we've been through
'Cause I know there's no life after you
Last time we talked, the night that I walked
Burns like an iron in the back of my mind
I must've been high to say you and I
Weren't meant to be and just wastin' my time
Oh, why did I ever doubt you?
You know I would die here without you
You and I, right or wrong, there's no other one
After this time I spent alone
It's hard to believe that a man with sight could be so blind
Thinkin' 'bout the better times, must've been outta my mind
So I'm runnin' back to tell you
All that I'm after is a life full of laughter
Without you God knows what I'd do, yeah
All that I'm after is a life full of laughter
As long as I'm laughin' with you
I'm thinkin' 'bout all that still matters is love ever after
After the life we've been through, yeah
Know there's no life after you
All I Ever Wanted-Kelly Clarkson
Tear up the photographs, but yesterday won't let go
Every day, every day, every minute
Here comes the emptiness, just can't be lonely you know
Every day, every day, hey, hey
This second chancin's really getting me down
You give and takin' everything I dreamed about
It's time you let me know, let me know, just let go
All I ever wanted, all I ever wanted
Was a simple way to get over you
All I ever wanted, all I ever wanted
Was an in between to escape this desperate scene
Where every law reveals the truth
Baby 'cause I all ever wanted, all I ever wanted was you
I'd rather walk alone, don't wanna chase you around
Every day, every day, every minute
I fall a thousand times for I let you drag me down
Every day, every day, hey, hey
Your new beginning was a perfect ending
But I keep feeling we've already been here before
It's time you let me know, let me know, just let go
All I ever wanted, all I ever wanted
Was a simple way to get over you
All I ever wanted, all I ever wanted
Was an in between to escape this desperate scene
Where every law reveals the truth
Baby 'cause I all ever wanted, all I ever wanted was
Tell me with so many out there why I always turn to you?
Your goodbyes tear me down every time
And it's so easy to see that the blame is on me
All I ever wanted, all I ever wanted
Was a simple way to get over you
All I ever wanted, all I ever wanted
Was an in between to escape this desperate scene
Where every law reveals the truth
Baby 'cause I all ever wanted, all I ever wanted was you
Yup,these 2 songs are exactly what I'm feeling right now.
Making this decision is as hard for me as it is to you.
Those times I've been hurting you,acting so immaturely, so selfish, so indecisive...
Hopefully with this one month of self reflection will help me to appreciate you more and the things you have done for me. It is also the time for me to realize,my own self worth and what I want in life.It aches me to see that the amount of hurt and pain I've caused and inflicted on you,and yet you remained as stubborn as I am. Which is a trait I find amusing and irritating at times.
Drowning my own thoughts with the blasting music and yet the very image and the very words you left me is as clear as the chime of a bell in the middle of a quiet scene. Life is never as easy as people claim it to be but you always insist that it is and argue me with it.
I can't say these things to you but as you read this,I really hope that you do know that I love you...
Because I love you so much,there are times I have to admit that it has dragged me down.Tearing me away from myself.The knowledge of knowing that you would catch me when I fall,protecting me... You can say that I've lost,somewhat my self confidence,my own little spark of cheekiness and risky behaviour.
Saying these words now would be meaningless...But nevertheless,I just want to say that...I'M SORRY...
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