Big step...

Am I ready? Physically? Emotionally? Financially? Mentally???

I know it is the next step to take but it does not stop me from wondering, is it too soon? I am sure of my feelings but is it selfish of me to just take my feelings and wants into consideration. What about the others? Can they handle without me? More importantly, can I handle without them? Is it too soon? Who will do the things that I've done when I'm gone? Somehow, it feels like I'm torn in two.

Fell sick as the whole office is like a breeding ground for germs. Passing it to one another, coughing in an enclosed space, you are bound to fall sick. Gagged at a coughing fit this morning, I felt so sick, I wanted to curl up and beg my dad to send me home. It felt like I was literally coughing my lungs out.

Just another day before I turn 22. The difference between being 21 and 22 may not be  much but I have noticed a few changes. I no longer care about the petty stuff that used to get me so worked up I would scream my head. But in the first place, I wasn't much of a screamer. I was the stare-at-you-keep-my-mouth-shut-cold-war kind of girl. I never really bothered with words. I preferred the cold war.

Since this is a new year, 2013, though I did not really come up with a list of resolutions but there are a few that I've made to myself. First, I would learn to help people without expecting anything in return. Not that I expect people to give me stuff. I mean, I treat you nicely, and I expect to be treated the same but after many disappointing moments, I realized life still goes on whether I feel mistreated or not.

Secondly, I need to stand up for myself more. I tend to let people bully me. Not in a good way.

I also need to be disciplined. I need to learn to let go, to grow up. I need to follow through the decisions and choices that I have made without regret.

I need to learn to say no, I need to be more assertive, more importantly, I need to love myself more. No, don't get me wrong, it's not that I hurt myself or hate myself, I just need to let my body rest. I tend to overwork myself with chores, I tend to pretend to be superwoman. I rather see myself tired, worn out and injured than to see the same thing befall my loved ones. It's not wrong but there's a limit too how much I can put my body to.

Chris will be leaving soon. Heart breaks. Not to be bias or anything but among the others, she's the one I can really pour out my troubles too, the one where after a hard day of work, she can still put a smile to my face and make me laugh. She supports me whenever I need a friend, she knows when to keep quiet and just listen to me complain. We do not say I love you very often among us sisters but I really do love her. Truly I will miss her. I wish her all the best in her studies, may she find favor in God and among men, and may she be blessed as she is a blessing to others. All these while, I have protected you, literally trying to keep you away from the evils of the world and I pray that as you are away from me, God will be your protector, your guide and friend. You do not know how much I would love to be by your side. Chrissie, take care. I love you.

I won't say it, but I'm thinking it...

I have somewhat been living in a cage. Not that it's a bad thing but sometimes, it just makes me wonder.

There are things that I would want to try out before it's too late. But how...

Food, life and love.

Good bye young carefree life and hello working world.
First, lets talk about food.

1.Chili's

Well, I was looking really pale,anemic, as I had been working out a lot, doing weights and endurance training and I had not looked into the diet of an athlete. When doing extreme exercises like the ones I do, the diet of the person has to change or so I read. More iron rich food and what nots, and I have been maintaining the diet that I always have. Veg, meat, lil or no carbs. So I wasn't surprise that I was looking like I just donated blood to several banks. After doing some reading on the internet, beef was listed as one of the food that has the most source of iron. So, as my sister and mum were in Midvalley, we decided to have our dinner at Chili's.

I ordered their New York steak and I have to say, I am very disappointed. As shown in the picture below, that is the FATS. That is almost 40% of my steak. Mash was good as usual, veg tasteless. I had my fill of meat but was really put off by the amount of fats in my steak and for such an exorbitant price of RM59 ++ I could have gone to Tony Roma's instead.

2. Garden (Sunway Pyramid)

Had my dinner here with Pip. One word, awful.Ordered the pumpkin soup, the one I made at home tasted way better, the toasted "garlic" bread tasted like plastic. Serious. It was that bad. The steak was alright, though the size was pitiful for such a price. Can't remember the price but I remember it being pricey.

 

 Mash potato was TASTELESS. Nuff said. Never stepping foot into this garden ever again.


3.Brotzeit (Mid Valley)
After a long experience of disappointing and horrible food, we went back to a place that we knew would not disappoint us. Pricey yes but it is worth it, the quality AND quantity will speak for themselves.
 Bill came up to Rm180+ for 3 persons. Ordered the pork knuckle and the beef steak. DELICIOUS. The pork was to die for. The extra crunchy texture of the skin, you can literally hear the crunch in every bite. The meat was tender and succulent, chewy and soft.

Came with two sides of mash potato and sauerkraut. Mash potato was flavorful, every bite was a delight. The sauerkraut was delish, with the acidic and sour taste, it complemented the pork knuckle very well.

 Next is the beef steak. Heart stopping at first sight, the beef was drenched in brown mushroom gravy with a round slab of herb butter melting. But the item on the plate that really won my heart was the side of potatoes. Grilled? Fried? I had no idea, but it was achingly delicious. It was crispy on the outside and yet soft inside. This is the first time I had something like this. Do try this, I highly recommend this dish.

Well, I finally came to the part where a part of my life has ended and a new one has begun. Took a picture to commemorate my first day as an intern. I have to say, I quite enjoyed the experience. Cheers, to the working life.

This, is Abigail. =) What's the point of being a girl when we do not dress up and look pretty? Attended a wedding dinner and this is what we wore.

Ok, hopefully, this post will be followed with more stories. Cheers to life!

Dream what you want to dream, go where you want to go,
be what you want to be. Because you have only one life and
one chance to do all the things you want to do.

Unknown

Breathe...

I can finally breathe. Finally, just some pictures to show you what happened during my super long absence.

Attended my cousin's wedding. Again, finally. =) I got a chance to wear the lace dress that I bought. A little on the short side but I could not find the black stockings. But it was good, I think  I looked kinda good.

Couz in his suit with us all dolled up.

My parents and I. DO I look like my mum? A  lot of people say I do. =)

 Been downing quite a lot of coffee, mostly the packets/instant ones but I was treated to good coffee once in a while by the fella below.

Pip.

 The both of us have been quite busy with out own schedules and did not spend much time together and when the weekend arrived, we managed to squeeze some together time. He brought me to 1U on Saturday, just a dinner and walked around. Hand in hand, walking while talking. It was good. The sudden slow and easy evening after the hectic time we had for almost a month..

 Went to Midvalley on Sunday. Thanks to my sister, I am having a craving for Croissants. The buttery layers, crunchy layers on the outside, fluffy and warm on the inside. It has been such a long time since I've sunk my teeth into a piece of bread and savoring it bit by bit.

My imitation of a croissant.

We had the beef pie in Dome. Not bad. The side of mushrooms were coated with black pepper and let me tell you, it was delicious! From the picture, the portion looks big but it was ok. Just right for one person but as I had a very late lunch, I shared this with Pip. Had a miserable small cup of coffee which was quite pricey. Picture looked big but the cup was tiny.

That's all for now. =) Hopefully I can continue writing more and more posts.

Strength.

Well, title of post is pretty self explanatory.

Celtic symbol for strength.

Strength, no need for the dependence on others. Just wait, I will become stronger. 

Tired of everything. Tired of being a good little angel. Everyone has limits.Where's the letting go? 

                                 

Staying Positive. I try.

Well, trying times. It's hard. I have to keep reminding myself, do not expect. When you do not expect, you do not get disappointed.

One good turn deserves another? The idiom. Well, that's is a good example of expectation. One does a good thing and expects something good happens to them? It's hard. God, really it's hard.

It's hard to be nice to someone when they do not deserve it. You expect them to change? To feel grateful for your help. Don't. Don't expect.

Trying to keep my chin up and smile through clenched teeth.

God, Your will be done.

Foul mood.

It's the time of the month. Urghhhh. Hate you. arghhhhhhh. rant rant rant rant rant...

Why? God, why? The pain. Why?

Stabbing, nerve wrecking, teeth clenching pain. God... WHY????!!!

Foul mood, can't think straight.

A warning, I bite. Like real bad. So beware. Do not cross my path. Do not cross me. Do not come near me.